Rant and Lament

Barbie is Love.

2010-04-07T06:23:00.000-07:00

I WANT THIS!!!!!!!

(http://daddytypes.com/2006/05/19/teaching_the_

difference_between_good_taste_tastes_good.php)

MA TIMILAI MAYA GARCHU

2010-03-13T05:54:00.001-08:00

Dearest Mero Mayalu,

If only you knew how much I love you...

I realised, after you go home,

I've no one to talk to about the simplest things in life

since you are the only one that can entertain me,

I've no one to talk to about my downs in school or academic work

since you are the only one that I confide in regarding school matters even before I started school

I therefore fear that I will collapse after every downs in school

Kuldip, therefore, I hope you'll pray for me,

I've no one to talk to about my confusion and worries about GC kids

since you are the only one that updates me and erases my doubts and confirms for me things,

I've no one to call when I feel scared

because only with you I feel protected,

I've no one to call when I feel alone anywhere

since you are the only one whom I call upon when I feel alone

and then hearing your voice makes my world so filled,

I've no one to call when I feel shitty about the simplest loserestest things

since you are the only voice who can make me feel much better,

I've no one to eat dinner or to break fast with during Ramadhan besides my family members

since you have been there for me for the past 2 Ramadhans

and then you will wait to eat with me

and you will sacrifice by finding halal places for me

Thanks dear, I really appreciate it,

I've no one to go out with after tuition days

since I often call you after tuition to go out with, to eat with...

therefore I don't look forward to going GC anymore,

I regret coming late whenever we date

because then I will have more time to spend with you

and have longer time to hold you,

I regret making you angry on 2 occasions

since if you were not angry with me I would not have wasted a month without you,

I regret to a certain extent going on holidays while you're in Singapore

since if I did not go then I will have 3 months extra with you

but dear forgive me I did enjoy myself during half of the 3 months

but nevertheless I missed you during the second half of each trip

and I remember you missed me much while I was in Philippines, Moscow and Laos...

only if you knew how I longed to be with you overseas,

I regret not driving you around much

not able to most of the time

for if I did have the chances now

we would have spent more time together rather than travelling

and I feel bad since you have always wanted me to drive us around

and you were the one who encouraged and supported me non-stop while I was learning driving,

I regret staying in hall sometimes

since you had to come all the way to meet me

but then again in hall is the only place we could spend some time alone together

and you sacrificed by coming all the way to jurong

Thanks baby, I appreciate it alot

your presence in my hall every week makes me stress-free and loved

besides my family's presence of course,

There's much to say to you

but I can't bring myself to say them

I love you Kuldip, I really do.

I will try my best not to cry every night

because I know deep down you are pained by it

since I caught a glimpse of your grimace on 11th March 2010

while I cried ceaselessly unintentionally

before you smiled so that I would not see.

Sincerely Yours Forever,

Tapaai Houri.

Caught-Up (not catch-up)

2010-03-03T09:16:00.000-08:00

Cadet's Name: Coffee Milk Tea
Platoon Name: Tay Huggers
Commander I/C: ARH
Fellow mates: Purple Ring & Focused Nurse

We have Secret Hide-Outs #1, #2, #3
#1: same with Haf & Ash (Hint: 4dols not 6dols)
#2: one of my favourite nationality places, mero mayalu peaceful place
#3: sea-breeze

When I thought it was all over...here we are still talking about it.

Trapped At Home

2010-02-19T06:15:00.000-08:00

For four freaking days I was trapped at home. GREAT.
Nowhere to go because of diorang.
Wanted to shop but all shops closed. Wanted to eat but all shops closed.
Felt so deprived.
For the past 22 years, it has been like this.
Menyampah aku dengan diorang.

Watched Percy Jackson with sisters.
( God knows why diertu said it was boring. Maybe he has been weirdenized by prasantanjubs )
After watching it, I'm so eager to go Gbul!
HAIZ but tight budget yo.

Testing Your Driving Conscience

2010-01-27T06:42:00.000-08:00

I wonder sometimes...
Is it my fault or the other driver's fault...
I will end up being sulky at home.
BAD bad habit.
Anyways...saw another...does not stop me from wanting 2B though...
Traumatized to a certain extent? Of course.
For now and forever, having dents on the car would be a sensitive issue for me.
Apart from that.
I am still worried about my sudden turns at City Hall, especially when I stopped just under the "Police Cameras in Operation" (or sth along the line) board.
But whatever it is, Mero Mayalu has been testing me (: .

Shaker Mechanical Pencil

2009-04-12T11:51:00.000-07:00

Great.

Throughout all this time that I have seen and touch a Shaker mechanical pencil, I only found out yesterday (11th April 2008) the significance of a Shaker. Thanks to Roshan Magar and Samiksha Gurung aka Sonika. *smacks forehead* I did not know that when u shake it, the lead can be ejected by itself.

Another Great thing(?).

I bought two Pilot Shaker mechanical pencils, one black and one white, three years ago (i.e., 2006), only to start using the black one on the 11th April 2008, and a few hours of using it, I lost it. I lost it. I cried childishly because I was doing good deeds for others. Well that is a different story. And so, started to use the white one on the 12th April 2008. See how long it can stay with me.

Birthday Bingung

2009-03-29T10:07:00.000-07:00

Go, go, go, go

Go, go, go shawty

It's your birthday

We gon party like it's your birthday

We gon sip Bacardi like it's your birthday

And you know we don't give a *u**

It's not your birthday!

So...

I thought of having a birthday party for myself.

What do you guys think?

Any themes?

Past Blog - Book Review on '1600 Perfect Score - The 7 Secrets of Acing the SAT' by Tom Fischgrund, Ph. D.

2009-03-14T11:01:00.000-07:00

Another one.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

This book has enlightened me about certain aspects of studying. The things that I list below serve as reminders for myself.

1. In filling up any Application Forms, have a change. Describe you and not yada yada what you have been doing.

2.Be LEADERS. Not followers.

3. Curiosity does not always kill the cat. "Always searching. Always learning. This insatiable curiosity and engagement with the world... define ... students who aced..."

The next list is for myself:

1. "1600 students on average spend 10 hours per week studying"

2. "8 hours a week studying, and 7 hours a week reading for school"

3. "11 hours a week studying and 13 hours a week reading for school"

4. "I consume books. I read about a book a week for pleasure and read everything I'm assigned for school -- plus extra material that the teacher recommends. I usually don't bother with best-sellers. I prefer satire, science fiction, and fantasy as well as the classics. One of my favourite books is Joseph Heller's Catch-22"

5. "Intelligence without compassion is meaningless. It is his humanism combined with his intelligence that will make him successful"

Past Blog - Book Review on 'The Alchemist'

2009-03-14T10:15:00.000-07:00

I have just deleted my another blog which was supposed to be solely on book reviews. Decided that they all are subsets of Rant and Lament. So might as well keep it to one right?

Sunday, February 10, 2008

The Alchemist tells us of a Spanish boy who crossed the pastures and deserts in search of his treasure. He believed in omens, he believed in signs from the gods, he listened to the messenger, he had faith in traditions, he learnt the languages of the different elements of the World, he knew about destinies, he believed in The Soul of the World and a lot more, that you and I and a lot of people in the world would not even have the time to stop amidst our busy lives and think just for a second "hey is there such a thing as..." Never. So this story has intrigued my inner me and believe me or not, I am influenced to a certain extent, especially the OMENS part. Basically that's the plot. Some might say boring though. Ouh, and it did end with a happy ending. A rather typical one. Not that I am cynical.

In my opinion, out of 5, I will give it 3. "It's not what enters men's mouth that's evil, it's what comes out of their mouths that is." A phrase quoted off from the book, alas, it was an opinion from the other alchemist, on drinking wine. Another nice phrase is, "One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving." Yes. Do not ask your friends on their significant others.

Beyonce

2009-01-27T11:20:00.000-08:00

I really love Beyonce

and her songs.

I'm not too sure if it is just me being biased either about her beautiful looks and killer curvaceous body which is very superficial of me I admit, or her beautiful calming soothing resonance full round all-so-melodic voice, or her diva-ness status or even her relationship with Jay-Z. It is just that she is one of the many artistes whose life I can somehow relate to.

Seriously, every song that she sings, it really speaks much of a woman's great love towards her man. Dangerously In Love, If I Were A Boy, If, Crazy In Love, Me Myself and I, Naughty Girl, Flaws and All, [Still In Love (Kissing You) original by Des'Ree OST R&J] and now Halo. Ouh man there are just too much emotions involved here. Every time she sings her songs, I can feel her sorrow and misery, that she is going through. So it is true as what Mother Teresa said, "I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." I don't think that I am somewhat obsessive or possessive for that matter, but just so divinely in love with him.

Well, maybe it is just me and being so in love with the one man I love at that(or this) moment of time. As for now, very suitable for the literal purpose here and also the situation of him, parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be 'morrow (Romeo & Juliet), or maybe there is not even a 'morrow for me or him.

- I ain't never gonna shut you out (though you might be in Nepal) -

Birthdays

2009-01-16T07:51:00.000-08:00

Birthdays?

A very subjective topic. Something that always makes me think twice (in fact many times), on many varied decisions. Some of them include:

1) To give or not to give a present?

2) To give something cheap and crappy, or to give something extravagant?

3) Must I celebrate with him*? Or for him*?

4) Must I wish?

5) How much was his* present for me the previous years?

6) Does he* even deserve my kindness?

Well, you see, the list can pretty well go on and on, but the simple idea here is, my birthdays are not being celebrated by many, not being remembered by many and no one ever bothered about it, when my poor self actually take the pain to remember people's birthdays (may he* be a best friend, a good friend, an acquaintance, a classmate, a group mate, a random friend, a childhood friend, a new friend), take the pain to source out the best present that I could afford and think of, take the pain to prepare and wrap and present presents in the nicest form ever, take the pain to make sure that it is of an acceptable presentation and worth, take the pain to make sure that my present do not only seem to be of a materialistic value but also to make sure that the sentimental and personal touch to it can actually mask the obvious expenditure just so that the birthday person does not get worried about my spending (if he* actually realizes it though, which more often than not, no one realizes it as it can be seen from the crappy presents that I often get, even though it is rare that I get presents) and thus accept my present willingly and happily. Yup, all my efforts gone to waste.

I usually try and do my very best to give presents that that particular person like. In my opinion, birthdays are special days, as how Liyana BAR puts it, "On birthdays, the birthday person needs to be treated like a princess or a prince, make him* feel special, make it a memorable day." Well, maybe she painted the picture too dreamlike. However, it is not impossible. Nevertheless, I have many other friends who, either has a one-sided dreamlike picture of their own birthdays where they want all cherry and merry for theirs but give a heck for anyone else's, or has a mutual perception of "could not be bothered" towards theirs' and others' birthdays. Unfortunately, I am one-sided, in that, I gave a damn about others but others do not give a damn about mine.

So, perhaps for this year, maybe I should be less of a giving person, and be selfish and maybe even be so sore about it. I am sick of celebrating OTHERS' birthdays, I am sick of forking out money for OTHERS' birthdays, I am sick of having to save up and compromise on my own expenditure of wants and necessities just for OTHERS' birthdays, I am sick of remembering OTHERS' birthdays, I am sick of wasting my SMSes to wish OTHERS on their birthdays, I am sick of being disappointed on my birthdays to a certain by some ingrates out there, I am sick of it all.

For the record, so far, I am grateful and I thank God, Alhamdulillah (Praise to God), that my beloved family has not forgotten and of my birthdays, and that we celebrate all six of our birthdays every year, with extravagant and meaningful presents, with love and care and smiles and laughs. Also, not to forget my beloved Nenek, Acik and my Arwah (Late) Datuk who always call me every year without fail, as long as their age permit. At least, I have 7 OTHERS that I know for sure that I can count on, on my birthdays, to feel special as how Liyana BAR says it. We always do our part to make each other's a superb one.

So if you were to ask me either one of these questions"

1) Are you getting him* any presents?

2) What are you going to buy for him*?

3) Do you want to share with me for his* present?

4) Are you going to celebrate his* birthday?

5) What shall we plan for him*?

6) Are you going to buy the present that he* wanted?

7) Why don't you save up to buy him* a present?

and etc.

and my answer is either "No", "Nothing", "Not going to", do not be shocked as it will be a quite a shock for some as I have never been this heartless which I think it is time that I should be and please do not think that I am heartless for you should know what the OTHER(s) heartless souls out there have done to me (or have not done for me).

This harangue is dedicated to those that they know I have spent lots of effort and time on theirs but they have not done anything for me. At the end of this, I am a bit lost I must admit, because I am not too sure if I should be crying that all the past bad reminiscences are coming to me slowly or be smiling in vain that I have let it out and hopefully they read it? Why not you tell me.

This is going to be an open list of friends whom I remember giving me a present that is worthy enough to be called one or worthy enough to be treated as great present in my view, since you, especially my close friends, should know my likes and dislikes. Feel free to leave me a comment if I did not mention yours. Shall not state what my family gave to me, it will look very outstanding as compared to even those that are WOW! that are given by friends, I do not intend to state a benchmark here:

1. Liyana BAR's gift of a jigsaw puzzle of a picture of me and her when we were on a school trip in KL, lying on the grass. Besides the fact that we look nice, it is meaningful and expensive and given at the right moment to bridge our gap and perhaps reconcile (perhaps reconcile is too strong a word, apologies for the lack of a better word Liyana) due to certain misfortunes happened that year (2004).

2. Izyan's and Ruz's gift of a silver bracelet from Mintmark & Co. which is a nice present (and of course of an acceptable standard) because the bracelet does look sweet and something that I will be glad to wear out anytime anywhere.

(However, I am not a fan of silver or jewellery besides those gold ones that are inherited or given by family.)

3. Kuldip's surprise and early gift of my favourite white G-Shock Casio G306X-7A Watch. Something nice, something that I like, something that I want, something expensive.

4. MJC 05S304's gift of a surprise party and a cake that has Eeyore on it (some class history of course). I really thought it was just a class gathering after the split.

Apologies for crap presents (feel free to leave comments if I did not mention your misfortunes):

1. Izyan's 2008 present. Sorry, it is kind of sloppy but it entails outings after outings and to somewhat an extent has a purpose which is to dress to the occasion and that you love the beach right? Loves.

As for now.